The Cardiacs - On Land And In The Sea
Thanks to 'Leeroy Halloween' who suggested this for review. This was originally written a couple of months after Tim Smith's death in July 2020.
I should confess in advance that when I'd previously dipped my toe into Cardiacs' back catalogue, I always ended up a little bemused and slightly disappointed. The two songs I'd most often seen referenced or promoted were 'Is This The Life' and 'Tarred And Feathered'. The former, from the album that preceded On Land, seemed like an unremarkable collision between The Cure, The Psychedelic Furs and 'She Sells Sanctuary'. The latter put me off even more, due to what I perceived as forced zaniness - a factor that makes me struggle, for example, with some of Frank Zappa's back catalogue.
On Land And In The Sea was quite a challenge to review. I don't think I've ever listened to an album so many times before even coming close to making my mind up about it.
Over the years, I have on several occasions taken my children to West Midland Safari Park. Although the rides are in general quite tame in comparison to places like Alton Towers, Twister is one that flings and spins you vigorously; its very 'open' track leaves you with a feeling that you're about to be thrown over the edge and plunge to your doom at every bend. I'm guessing you know where I'm going with this... Twister is the perfect metaphor for On Land. It is an album that flings and spins you vigorously; it's relentless in the way it careers around hairpin bends of sound, never settling on any rhythm, cadence, time signature or tone for what feels like more than ten seconds.
Two Bites Of Cherry
I have no formal musical training, and have only a basic understanding of things like time signatures. I do know, however, that 'Cherry' is certainly not in standard 4/4, and even if it doesn't actually change time signature several times over the course of its three and a bit minutes, the fact that it sounds like it does is the salient point. The first minute or so has a relatively consistent feel, even though there are subtle but disconcerting shifts in rhythm; this is followed by a jaunty, almost oompah section of only ten seconds in length; at 1:13 there's a stuttering interlude where it feels like several different segments are all trying to elbow their way in and assert their dominance; 2:26 sees a melodic, almost anthemic passage emerge that might have been a chorus in a more traditionally structured song; things are rounded off with a brief, melancholy acoustic coda. (Don't worry, I'm not going to try and break down every song in this fashion - that way insanity lies...)
There's almost too much to listen to. The bass line is worthy of study on its own: at times it anchors the track to some sense of rationality; at others it loses interest in the song and wends its own merry way to who knows where. The keyboards provide much of the manic energy, whirling frantically and occasionally flirting with tipping the song into excessive quirkiness.
Having spend much of the last few years writing about The Fall, I am well accustomed to opaque lyrics, but without the support of something like The Annotated Fall, I am at a bit of a loss as to how to interpret this lyric. It opens with 'any real egg has a shell has a shell an egg' and doesn't become any less impenetrable thereafter. There's some sense of impending doom ('the trouble that never comes / and a gale more powerful than all of the guns'; 'jeopardy and risk is ten miles high') but it's challenging to pin it down any further.
Baby Heart Dirt
Similar in tone to 'Cherry' and full of the same unhinged energy, possibly even more manic; it also throws a bit of ska into the mix at one point. The staccato links between sections are very prog-like, and the way that the first two tracks flow into each other gives the sense of it being a 'suite' of some description. The lyric seems to be about inheritance: 'everything I do is showing through my ageing lines and living on... she knows birthright of her babies / has eyes for the future'.
The Leader Of The Starry Skies
After the breathless exuberance of the opening duo, the third track thankfully dials things down a little. Throughout the album, the guitar parts often take more of a percussive role than the percussion itself; this is particularly apparent in 'Starry Skies', where the pulsating, chiming passages that punctuate the track are underpinned by an insistent, trebly guitar chord which frees the drums to wander expansively. Ostensibly less manic and fractured than the first two tracks, there are still sections (e.g. 0:52 - 1:19) where there's a bed of skronky sax sitting just below the main body of the song. Hard to infer much meaning from the lyric again, although on a purely aesthetic basis I enjoyed 'zealous antics puzzled lazy boy / gazing at him in the zoo / makes a vow to quench all fury / and rid the air of me and rid of you'.
I Hold My Love In My Arms
The album's shortest track is an overblown, portentous interlude that sounds like Queen's take on zeuhl. Rather inconsequential and aimless.
The Duck And Roger The Horse
'Duck' is yet more frenetic than the opening pair of tracks, and has an even more 'kitchen sink' approach. It throws together angular math-rock, hints of Gong-like sax prog, abandoned guitar thrash and snippets of cut and paste sampling. It's certainly not lacking in invention, but there are perhaps more ideas present than fit comfortably into four minutes. There's an engagingly surreal tone to the lyric ('Horsey going round, with his little wheel on the floor / sulking in the cupboard is a horsey going round / with his little wheel on the floor / sulking in the cupboard is a duck') that, for reasons I can't quite put my finger on, reminds me of early 70s Genesis.
Arnald
One of the most conventional tracks on the album, a tight, energetic piece based around a choppy guitar riff. Feels like a bit of a breather.
Horsehead
Framed around a grinding, abrasive refrain, 'Horsehead' is a welcome change of pace. Apologies for the repetition, but God knows what it's about: 'His horsey head made him soft for his man'.
Fast Robert
There's nothing specifically wrong with this track, but you can't help feeling that they've done this already. It whirls frenziedly, stops and starts unpredictably, rapidly shifts in tempo - it's all very busy and intricate; but it's hard to distinguish it from several earlier songs.
Mare's Nest
Starts out in a relatively conventional, even poppy fashion before veering off into a multitude of different tempos. Despite all the diversions, there's a strong, underlying melodic theme that gives the song some coherence. It's hard to avoid saying once again that's it's difficult to know what to make of the lyric, however: 'We must with a tombstone brave / shut the shark out from this grave / wash him bloodless smooth him fair / stretch his limbs sleek his hair'.
The Stench Of Honey
Although it's as syncopated and unpredictable as much of the rest of the album, 'Honey' - in parts at least - brings a little bit of calm to the proceedings. It does grow in intensity as it goes along, but overall it represents at least a partial break from the mania elsewhere.
Buds And Spawn
Taken in isolation, this is one of my favourites, bettered only by the final track. Its unpredictability is audacious: hardly anything arrives on the beat you expect it to, and the band's deft command of the myriad of tempo changes is hugely impressive. In a 'whole album listen' context, however, it is starting to feel like they have exhausted the approach - the sheer relentlessness of it all is beginning to be almost a trial. Moreover, I really could do with an Annotated Cardiacs to help me deal with intriguing but mysterious stuff like 'washed so bland via remedy man / stands for all that he can stand / throws a canker to the can / moults a hair putridity man'.
The Safety Bowl
A gentle interlude framed around some pretty harpsichord; the album could probably have done with some more changes of pace like this to provide some respite earlier on. Although I am yet again defeated as to the meaning of the lyric ('kind and cutlery finds a pea'), I did learn something: 'Betty Martin' apparently refers to an 18th century phrase that meant 'humbug' or 'hogwash'.
The Everso Closely Guarded Line
It felt inevitable that the album would close with a lengthy, complex finale, and that's exactly what it does. It's the most prog-like track of all, with clear echoes of both Yes and Gong. Smith is at his most unhinged, both in the intense main vocal and the bed of deranged mumblings. This is probably the song that I find most impressive in terms of the sheer scope of its ambition, although I do have a nagging feeling that it's striving just a little too hard for epic-ness. As with 'Buds And Spawn', it's a superb achievement when considered on its own; following on from the previous 40 minutes of mania, it becomes a little harder to appreciate. However, I wouldn't wish to underplay its quality; it's fascinating, dramatic, virtuosic, intense and ultimately rather mind-blowing.
I found it almost impossible to reach an overall conclusion about this album; over the period I reviewed it, I changed my mind about it around a thousand times. Its inventiveness and originality certainly can't be questioned. 'Buds And Spawn' and 'The Everso Closely Guarded Line' are both pieces of fractured genius. There is much to admire in every track when considered individually. It's when you listen to the album as a whole that issues arise.
Recently, on one of the music sites I frequent, someone posted about having watched The Adventures of Baron Munchausen for the first time. I responded that it had been many years since I'd seen it, but my abiding memory was of having a feeling throughout the film that I wanted to tell everyone involved to just calm down. This was how I felt about On Land. Packed as it is with invention and originality, it is also, frankly, bloody exhausting.
Footnote
At the time, I posted this review on the Cardiacs Facebook group. Around 75-80% of the responses were very positive and supportive; fanatic fans appreciating the objective perspective of an 'outsider'. The remainder told me I was an uncultured arsehole; memorably, one commented that, 'if he's used to listening to simplistic music like The Fall he's hardly going to understand this'.
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